Unspoken Attraction Between Coworkers [Psychologist Explains]

Verified by Viki T.

Verified by Viki T.

Armed with a BA in Psychology, Viki T. is a seasoned Gestalt counselor who works closely with her clients.

Navigating the world of workplace relationships can be complex and sometimes, downright confusing. This is especially true when it comes to an unspoken attraction between coworkers.

In this article, we’ll delve into the subtle signs of such attractions, the psychology behind them, and how to handle these situations with professionalism and respect.

By the end, you’ll have a deeper understanding of these dynamics and be better equipped to navigate them. Let’s start by identifying the signs of unspoken attraction in the workplace.

Unspoken attraction between coworkers – 10 signs to spot

In the labyrinth of workplace dynamics, unspoken attractions can often go unnoticed. However, there are subtle signs that can help you decipher these hidden feelings. Let’s explore these signs in detail.

Frequent and prolonged eye contact

When someone is attracted to you, they tend to maintain eye contact more often. It’s a non-verbal way of expressing interest and connection.

Increased physical touch or proximity

If a coworker often finds reasons to touch you lightly or stands closer to you than others, it could be a sign of unspoken attraction.

Constant communication outside work hours

If they reach out to you frequently outside of work, it might indicate that they are interested in you beyond a professional level.

Shared interests and hobbies

Common interests can often bring people closer. If a coworker seems to share a lot of your hobbies, it could be a sign of attraction.

They remember small details about you

If they remember minor details about your conversations or personal life, it shows they pay special attention to you, which could be due to attraction.

Increased teasing or playful banter

Playful teasing is often a sign of attraction. If a coworker teases you more than others, they might be attracted to you.

They defend or support you in group situations

If they often come to your defense or support your ideas in group settings, it could indicate that they have feelings for you.

They show genuine concern for your well-being

If they frequently check on your well-being and show genuine concern, it could be a sign of unspoken attraction.

They compliment you more than others

Frequent compliments can often be a sign of attraction. If a coworker compliments you more than they do others, it might be because they are attracted to you.

They make an effort to spend time with you outside of work

If they often invite you to social events or try to spend time with you outside of work, it could be a sign of attraction.

Recognizing these signs can help you understand the dynamics of your workplace relationships better. However, it’s equally important to understand why these attractions occur.

In the next section, we’ll delve into the psychology behind attraction in the workplace.

The psychology behind attraction in the workplace

Attraction isn’t a random occurrence. It’s deeply rooted in our psychology and understanding it can help us navigate the signs of unspoken attraction at work more effectively. Let’s delve into some key psychological factors that influence workplace attraction.

The role of proximity in attraction

Proximity plays a significant role in attraction. We are more likely to develop feelings for people we see and interact with regularly, like our coworkers.

The impact of shared experiences and goals

Working together often involves shared experiences and common goals. These shared experiences can foster a sense of unity and mutual attraction.

The influence of the ‘mere-exposure effect’

The ‘mere-exposure effect’ is a psychological phenomenon where people develop a preference for things merely because they are familiar with them. This can apply to people we see often, like our coworkers.

The balance between professional and personal boundaries

Workplace attraction can also be influenced by the balance between professional and personal boundaries. When these boundaries blur, it can lead to unspoken attractions.

Understanding the psychology behind workplace attraction can help you make sense of your feelings and the behavior of others. However, recognizing these feelings is just the first step.

In the next section, we’ll discuss how to handle unspoken attraction at work with professionalism and respect.

How to handle unspoken attraction at work

Recognizing the signs of unspoken attraction at work is one thing, but handling these feelings is another. It’s crucial to approach these situations with professionalism, respect, and empathy. Let’s explore some strategies to manage these situations effectively.

Recognizing and acknowledging your feelings

The first step in dealing with unspoken attraction is to acknowledge your feelings. It’s okay to have these feelings, but it’s important to understand them and their potential impact on your professional life.

Maintaining professionalism and respect

Regardless of your feelings, maintaining professionalism is crucial. This includes respecting the other person’s space and feelings, and ensuring your behavior doesn’t make anyone uncomfortable.

Seeking advice and support when needed

If you’re unsure about how to handle your feelings, don’t hesitate to seek advice. This could be from a trusted friend, mentor, or a professional counselor.

Setting clear boundaries

Setting clear personal and professional boundaries can help manage unspoken attractions. This might involve limiting personal conversations or maintaining a professional distance.

Handling unspoken attraction at work can be challenging, but with understanding and respect, it’s possible to navigate these situations effectively.

In the next section, we’ll wrap up our discussion and provide some final thoughts on navigating the complex world of workplace attractions.


Navigating the complex world of workplace attractions, particularly unspoken ones, can be challenging.

However, with a deeper understanding of the signs, the psychology behind them, and effective strategies to handle them, you can manage these situations with grace and professionalism.

Remember, it’s crucial to maintain respect and boundaries at all times. After all, the workplace is primarily a place for professional growth and collaboration.